When does it count as bad luck?

When things keep going awry? Or when something finally does go right does that cancel it out? My mom had my last three siblings at home with a midwife and it’s always been my plan to follow in her footsteps. Our family is geared towards a more natural, holistic way of living. With the direction the world has been going I’ve become even more firm about living my life this way. I had no idea midwives were so scarce. Being out in the country it would make sense that there are none, but even in the closest city (about an hour away) there were very few. The first one we contacted said she was full for August–the baby’s due date–but gave me a very short list of birthing centers and another midwife. These birthing centers are all at least an hour away, if not more, and when I get a return call from a few midwives–all saying they’re booked–they refer me to the midwives I’ve already talked to. Well, my mom and I settled on just making the hour and a half drive to a birthing center in Buffalo when I bumped into an old coworker/friend who told me about the midwife the Amish go to. My husband, mom and I went to meet her at the beginning of March and she was exactly what I was looking for! I felt So much more comfortable with her because her beliefs are more in line with my own. I never realized that pregnancy is often treated like a disease or medical condition. My pregnancy book stated this but then I got the experience firsthand–from my husband’s side of the family. Let me just say, it takes some firm believing to stay confident and positive when you’ve got your partner’s family getting in his head about just the bad stuff and getting him more stressed out. Things have been said to me twice (I think I actually offended this person when I said childbirth is natural and I’m not worried–because women haven’t been giving birth successfully for thousands of years, right? Ugh.) and I understand it’s from a place of concern and I acknowledge bad situations do arise at times, but it’s kind of ironic. I mean all these terrible things they’re thinking of are most likely happening in a hospital . . . sooo how does that make it any more of a guarantee that nothing bad will happen because I’m in a hospital? It doesn’t. In fact, my chances of having a healthy, natural birth are increased by doing it in a more natural way. That’s what I believe anyway. Besides, going to a midwife doesn’t mean that if things go wrong she’s going to shrug and do nothing. The midwife I’m seeing has at least twenty years’ experience and has roughly two hundred clients a year. She knows how to handle tough situations and if something comes up that requires medical assistance, she has a good working relationship with the nearby hospital and will send the women there if absolutely necessary. That was a little more than I intended to write, it just really gets under my skin. A woman’s body is built for this, it will know what to do when the time comes, and the baby will grow whether a doctor is telling you it is or not. Even if you find out something is wrong there’s really nothing that can be done until it’s born.

Onto happier things. My mom and two of my sisters and I are going to Puerto Rico in May! I wish I wasn’t going while pregnant because I have a feeling it will wear me out but I’m super happy to be going period. While we have lots of fun activities planned, I’m most looking forward to a day at the beach. It’s one of my biggest desires to wade in an ocean of crystal-clear water. I like to imagine myself lounging on a chair with white sand at my feet and laptop on my lap, writing all day. I won’t be of course. I’m too paranoid to bring anything too valuable like my laptop or iPad. Maybe one day in the future.

There’s still one puppy left, sadly. I think she’s old enough now to be thinking that here is home and that makes me sad that she still needs a home. For being a puppy she’s surprisingly well-behaved. She does have accidents but she doesn’t get into the garbage and if she chews on something she’s not supposed to, which she rarely does, she’ll stop when scolded. She knows ‘sit’ and ‘wait’ and is so sweet all the time. I’m sure if people could see her cute little face she would have found a home a long time ago! (Ignore the dirty table! We’re not slobs it’s just late at night and I prefer to clean up the next morning.)